“I think Todd means more to me than I mean to him,” Bronwyn told the ladies after revealing infidelity in her marriage on the Dec. 18 episode of ‘RHOSLC’

Bronwyn Newport and Todd Bradley. Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty

Bronwyn Newport is sharing a secret about her marriage.

In the Dec. 18 episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Bronwyn, 39, opened up to the women about issues with her husband Todd Bradley. During their cast trip to Puerto Vallarta, she revealed Todd, 65, allegedly cheated on her during an emotional conversation about “the real stuff” she had been going through.

“A couple of years ago, we were on a trip, and he was texting someone on his iPad, and Gwen went to say something to him, and Gwen saw it over his shoulder,” Bronwyn claimed, referring to her daughter from a previous relationship.

“Gwen came to me, and I confronted Todd,” she continued, saying in her confessional: “The real truth is that my relationship is just as hard as everybody else’s in its own ways, and has had its very low lows that were very hard for me. This is a side of me that these ladies haven’t yet seen, but I want them to understand that I bleed the same way that they all do. I cry about things, and that side of me is there if they’re open to it.”

RHOSLC: Heather Calls Bronwyn’s Husband an ‘Asshole’ After Getting Excluded from Group Trip

Bronwyn Newport and Todd Bradley. Fred Hayes/Getty 

When the ladies inquired about Todd’s reaction to Bronwyn discovering his alleged infidelity, she explained that the dynamic of their marriage is complicated.

“He said it’s a fatal flaw of his,” she said. “What’s good for him in business is that he’s never satisfied. He’s always pushing for the next deal, the best deal, the whatever. And it is hard to turn that off. When you come home, you are always looking.”

“It’s not his fault,” she added. “You’re used to what you’re used to you, you like what you like.”

RHOSLC’s Bronwyn Newport Recalls Her Favorite Memory from Wedding to Todd Bradley: ‘Our Dogs!’ (Exclusive)

Lisa Barlow, who brought Bronwyn into the group, said she was “shocked” that this had happened because Bronwyn always kept a front that her life was “perfect.” Bronwyn went on to say that she chose to move forward and Todd apologized with a gift.

“He came back with a ring that had five diamonds, and he made me five new promises to match each of the diamonds,” Bronwyn said. “It was five things he didn’t promise me when we got married that he probably should have.”

Bronwyn Newport and Todd Bradley. Charles Sykes/Bravo via Getty 

Still, Todd is out of town during the work week, Bronwyn explained, and she said she still feels insecurity in the marriage.

“There is always going to be a lump in the back of my throat that if I’m not super supportive, I’m not super there, if I’m not super caring, if I’m not physically there, it’s not always gonna be the same,” she admitted. “I’m not always good enough at home, and then I’m not good enough with you guys ever.”

When Meredith Marks asked if Bronwyn felt she was too “guarded” for Todd to feel connected to her, Lisa nodded in agreement. Bronwyn, however, seemed taken aback by the question.

“I adore Todd,” Bronwyn then said tearfully. “I live and breathe by what Todd says to me, and I think I mean as much to Todd as any person can mean to him. But I think Todd means more to me than I mean to him.”

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She also confessed that although she understands Todd well, she feels like it is a pattern in her life for others not to care as deeply for her.

“I don’t always know that somebody knows 100% who I am, and that’s a very weird, isolating feeling to float through life and feel like there’s nobody who totally gets me,” she cried. “And when you don’t have a great relationship with your mom, I’m losing my dad, Gwen is going to college, and then I thought Lisa was introducing me to friends, you know, and it’s been tricky with some of you, and it reinforces this narrative that maybe I’m not good enough for anyone.”

Bronwyn Newport. Gary Gershoff/Getty 

Heather Gay chimed in to support Bronwyn, saying she could relate to having missing pieces in her relationship.

“You keep saying negative things about yourself, but the truth is, just because you got pregnant and you were a single mom and you were taught and shamed that you should be grateful for everyone that throws you a bone, that’s bulls—,” Heather said. “You are a survivor, and what made you survive was this toughness. But at the same time, you can recognize that you don’t need that toughness anymore, and that what you may have been grateful for eight or 10 years ago is no longer enough for you, and you’re allowed to ask for more.”

She continued: “If he can’t show up for you now, if he can’t treat you like the queen you want to be treated like now, then you can move on. You don’t owe him anything. I felt that way when I was in my marriage. I didn’t speak up, I didn’t eat, I didn’t question because I had the life I dreamt of having. I was married with kids, so I was just going to put up and shut up, and then, luckily, he left me. But now I realize I want more and I deserve more, and I’m going to get more.”

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The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET o