Hoping to reduce financial burden, many young people find marriage partners, living as husband and wife but without having sex.

Robbie Scott, an American musician and TikToker with 300,000 followers, recently posted a video looking for someone to have a “lavender marriage” (purple marriage). The purpose of the marriage is to jointly pay for the mortgage, utilities and taxes. In the video, which has attracted more than 5 million views, Scott said that his wife can be comfortable with other relationships.

Like Scott, some people want to get married to share the financial burden amid rising living costs.

“Lavender marriage” or “purple marriage” is a concept that was once associated with the LGBTQ+ community, born around the beginning of the 20th century. This term refers to marriages between a man and a woman or people in the LGBTQ+ community. The purpose of the marriage is to create a cover to hide sexual orientation from social prejudice.

Recently, many Gen Zers are reviving this type of marriage, even though they are not LGBT. The purpose of these marriages is to share living expenses and fight loneliness. The hashtag #lavendermarriage attracts millions of views on TikTok.

A “purple marriage” is a legal marriage, in which couples still have a marriage certificate and enjoy the legal benefits that come with it. They live together as husband and wife but do not have sex.

Edward Reese, a gender and sexuality expert at LGBTQ+ dating app Taimi, said marriage comes with many benefits such as inheritance rights, childcare support, tax breaks, mortgages or lower healthcare.

“In a purple marriage, both partners are expected to resolve conflicts, discuss and compromise. It is a union based on commitment and loyalty, but without the romantic element,” says expert Edward.

Christine Devore, clinical psychologist and director of Birch Psychology (USA) said that “purple marriage” can be a solution to some burdens in life, reducing financial pressure while still maintaining independence.

Some young people choose purple marriage – living as husband and wife but without sex – to reduce living expenses. Illustration: James Morris

There are no exact figures on the number of “purple marriages” or whether social media topics accurately reflect the overall trend. But experts say it reveals some issues.

Dating companies are expected to generate more than $5 billion in revenue in 2023. But growth is slowing. Match Group, which owns popular dating apps, saw its paid users fall about 6% in the first quarter of this year. The company is worth $9.51 billion, down from $50 billion in 2021. Bumble has also lost about 90% of its value since going public in 2021.

The reason could be that Gen Z is turning away from these apps because they can’t find real connections. Many users are tired of ghosting, catfishing, and even broken dates.

Financial pressure is also the reason why many young people are interested in “purple marriage”. According to the Washington Post , compared to the Millennials generation (born from 1981 to 1996), Gen Z has to spend 31% more on housing. From 2012 to 2022, car insurance premiums have doubled, health insurance has increased by 46%.

This situation has led young people to consider inflationship , a portmanteau of inflation and relationship – living in the same room, sleeping in the same bed but not having sex. “Purple marriage” can be seen as the next step in this trend.

According to gender expert Reese, young people are approaching relationships in a new way. Many identify as aromantic (not interested in romantic love) or asexual (not interested in sex). This challenges traditional pop culture notions of heterosexual love and sexuality.

But there are challenges to purple marriages. Psychologist DeVore warns that emotional problems can arise if there is not open communication. They are also not sustainable if either partner is looking for a real romantic relationship. And ultimately, they do not guarantee lifelong happiness.

“No relationship, including a ‘purple marriage,’ is immune to trauma,” says psychologist DoVore.